fast or slow?

Do we go fast or slow?

I still remember missing each other so badly for an evening or two - the impossible separation, the dragging of hours, the weary and excited wait for him to show up at my door.

I dislike remembering the desperation tinged efforts of my thesis-writing. That was a special time, during which missing each other was relegated to backburner, out of necessity. No that it was any less desperate.

Now we are just weary and desensitized. Nevertheless. It's like a steady drain on the system. And even if the excitement of seeing him will wear off with time, I'm very ready to just, be around each other. This is too impossible. Seems just impossible to take it.

And I prohibit wanting. It takes energy to want and not receive.