friends with benefits

Friends with benefits. Splendid a concept, isn't it?

Oh, much more innocent than you think. And much less, in a way, haven't decided yet.
There we were - both attracted, both not in the mood; not in the relationship mode. So we still talk, even after painful honesty; still flirt, accustomed to aforementioned honesty; still enjoy the spark, the flow of it. Anxiety has faded to background noise now - my only non-anxious reaction to a man who's not gay begins with him clearly stating non-threatening intentions. Something to work with, isn't it?

Sometimes I wonder if I'm using him. If so, he's not first; I've had several different kinds of 'friends' by now. But he seems to enjoy himself, so what the hell, there's no equality ever, anyway. I like having a public. I like slowdancing in a burning room. I like the drop of danger, as long as it stays precisely a drop.

I like others, as well. Which is just as well. Well within the concept.

A least step up from crushing on every possible gay. Huh.